One day, it all hit me. While in a hot yoga session, resting during savasana, I suddenly realized that the most essential habit that was missing in my life, specifically while in law school and as a practicing attorney, was Self-Care. At that point, I noticed that I had not engaged in any passionate hobbies of mine in years. I looked in the mirror and saw all of the weight that I had gained since the pandemic. My anxiety was feeling through the roof and was not under any sort of control. Meanwhile, time continued to pass by day after day.
To engage in Self-Care is to make conscious decisions and to take initiative towards creating a healthy wellbeing. As of recent, this term has become a huge buzz word, even a small movement, and I love it! Yet, it’s also still a “hush” topic in some environments and can be regarded as selfish or even unreasonable in corporate America. However, it is so important that you do not let others’ opinions or personal habits dictate your own needs. No one else will live this life for you so make it the happiest, healthiest, and most authentic experience that it can be.
The first step of Self-Care is to take accountability. This required me to accept that my entire reality was a direct result of my own actions and inactions. I chose to no longer turn a blind eye to what I knew needed to change. It meant that for the first time, I had to acknowledge that I was experiencing depression. It meant buying a scale, recording the number, and continuing to weigh myself weekly. It meant actively noticing when I would slip into a state of overwhelm and burnout. Instead of choosing avoidance, I chose to completely face myself. Which, on one hand, it was a little daunting reflecting on how I put myself in this predicament. But on the other hand, it was encouraging because I now appreciated the control that I had over my life which I presently was not taking responsibility for. Therefore, I now understood that if I wanted things to change, I had to be the one to change them. No more excuses or turning a blind eye. I had to be the one to save myself.
After accountability kicks in, the second step of Self-Care is to take initiative. The lack of Self-Care mentioned in the three examples listed above were all solved as soon as I decided to do something about it. For example, since law school, I always wanted to take dance lessons because I desperately wanted my body to loosen up from stress and tension, so I joined a 10-week Salsa dancing program! I had so much fun that I ended up advancing to intermediate and even traveled to Las Vegas for a Salsa and Bachata conference! It was something new, exciting, and just what I needed to feel more at ease. Dancing also then encouraged me to become more physically active so that I could feel “lighter.” So, after work, I began a nightly gym routine which eventually caused me to lose 30 pounds! And finally, whenever I began to feel stressed or anxious, I would stop and take three intentional deep breaths, and would immediately feel refreshed and grounded afterwards.
When I began to practice Self-Care, I began feeling more alive while doing everything else in my life. I became more comfortable, confident and secure in who I am because I actually enjoyed the acts of taking care of myself and also began to love who I was becoming as a result of those actions. Simply put, Self-Care is both the journey and the reward.
However, I had to consciously make these decisions and then constantly take action. No one else was going to enroll me in dance lessons, drag me to the gym, or know when my body needed extra oxygen. Getting to really know and accept who I am allowed me to figure out ways to make me feel better.
The third and final step for Self-Care is to create a routine. Many people develop motivation to start a new routine without creating the determination to follow through with it. Sticking to a routine is a commitment but it should not feel like a chore. Self-Care is supposed to make you feel good, which is why it is so important that you develop self-awareness to understand your needs and to also discover what you genuinely enjoy.
Personal hobbies, fitness, and conscious breathing however were just three areas of Self-Care that I initially chose to work on in that moment. Over time, I ended up creating a Self-Care Routine Chart with over 20 categories including, skin care, hair care, business, career, intellectual, spiritual, and more! Self-Care is more than just a dedicated Sunday once a month when you go on a solo date. Self-Care is a daily practice. Whether it’s journaling, making healthier eating choices, or choosing to schedule that overdue doctor’s appointment, Self-Care is all about serving your present needs. And only you know what you need and how badly you need it.
This is where Wellness Coaching becomes so useful. I like to say that having a Wellness Coach is like having a partner who is invested and dedicated to your health and happiness. That means having someone to help you create realistic and attainable goals, provide you with different tools and resources to use, and to be the mentor and accountability partner that you need.
There are two categories of clients that I receive. First, are individuals who are still discovering their personal identity and the second category are people who consider themselves to be self-aware but have a difficult time developing structure and consistency to actually sustain a healthy lifestyle that aligns with who they know themselves to be. Both groups of people are already on the right track by identifying that something in their life needs to change. However, I always remind my clients that I can never do the actual work for you. As a coach, I will always show up and do my part to guide and support you, but it is essential that you do your part as well!
Accepting accountability, taking initiative, and developing a routine create a recipe for success! Adopting a mindset of Self-Care is truly transformational. You see, respond, and show up in your life differently. It also just feels good to invest in your own health and happiness and then to see the fruits of your labor. Today, I am actively involved in hobbies that I love, I am much healthier and more fit, and I now have lots of different techniques to soothe any stress and tension that may arise in my body. This is all because I decided to stop being a victim to my circumstances and to finally save myself. Use this post as your sign to start living happier and healthier. Choosing to save yourself now will change your life for the future.
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